The Release
by MeganxDegrassi
Summary: KC is surviving his second year of college in his own way, releasing his unwanted feelings the only way he knows how. He's hurting everyone in the way, who can stop him?
1. Chapter 1

**Hi there, this is a story about KC, and yes Claareeebeeaaar, and it takes place in their Sophomore year of college, yes, okay? It's kind of strange and I don't know how well this first chapter is, but it always get's better, right? Uhm, meow. Yes, okay, so, I hope you enjoy (x. **

~KC~

I started deeply into the stranger's eyes, conjuring up as much mystery and innocence one would require to get inside any girls head. They all wanted me; I just had to make them realize that, and it wasn't that hard to do. The girl I was working my magic on smirked coyly back at me and I knew that the game was on. Oh she had been easier than the last two tonight, almost as easy as the first one this week. Of course I'd never let her know that she the seventh—or was it eighth? — girl this week.

It was only Tuesday.

I had class in the morning.

The thought of sitting through class at eight a.m. made me crave the feeling of her salty skin on mine even more as I persuaded her with my charm. I didn't even want to hesitate as I connected my lips to hers, pulling her into the closest bedroom and out of the loud music of the big house party.

I moved my lips with hers furiously as we shed our clothes as fast as we could. What was her name again? Alice, Alex, Alyssa? Sharon? I couldn't remember, not that it matter anymore as my mind started to glaze over in pure bliss as the last of our clothes were she and we were on the cozy queen sized bed, getting to know each other intimately.

She was completely unaware of the massive favour she was doing for me. To me, sex was the best thing in the world; it made me forget all the anger, upset and loneliness that always seemed to consume me completely. Sex made me feel like I had died and gone to heaven, multiple times. It was beautiful.

I'd never really had sex out of love, not since high school, but that had dire consequences and didn't all turn out as well as everyone made it out to be. I had a child when I was just in grade 10, and gave him up for adoption not soon after. None of it did any good to my temper, or my upset. Since then, the only way to dispel my anger and loneliness was to use women as toys, sex toys, something that was finally realized and so much easier in here in university.

I was using this girl for happiness, for momentary pleasure. I'd never see her again, and if I did, I wouldn't remember her or anything about this night really. Which, all made me seem like a dick, and I definitely was.

I didn't care.

We wrestled around, pleasing one another lustfully, but I came out on top. I always came out on top. When I was closed to finished, I'd help her finish, then we lay there breathlessly. It was pretty much a routine, except it never got boring, different girls had different contributions. My victims were always left speechless, probably because they were just rewarded with the best sex of their lives, just for picking up my mood a bit. Of course, they should have known when they agreed to sleep with me that I would give them nothing less than the best.

"Wow, KC," the girl breathes, putting her hand on my chest and looking up at me sexily. Jesus, she made me almost want to go again.

Almost. But, that would break my rule: One time with a girl then never again. I didn't want girls to get too attached, and sex more than once spelled Trouble. I actually had to get out of there right then, before her flirty eyes started to think I wanted to further this brief relationship that we had only for right here and right now.

I smiled at her then slipped out from under her hand, finding my boxers and slipping them on. "This was fun," I told her smoothly, "But I have class in the morning, so… _Adieu_!" I pulled on my pants and grabbed my shirt as she sat up in bed and looked at me, dumbfounded. She started to object but, I just left the room.

She probably thought I was a jerk. She just didn't understand.

I walked back to the party, pulling on my shirt and fully intending to find the nearest exit before Alex or Alice, or whoever-she-was was able to find me. I was almost out the door when I was approached by two _very _familiar girls.

_Shit. _

"Excuse me!" Girl number one of the night looked at me angrily, her friend—Girl Number Two!—linked to her arm. "What the Hell do you think you're doing, screwing the both of us?"

Girl Number Two shoved me, "You fucking jerk!"

"It's not my fault you were so easy," I told them bluntly, remembering that girl number three had been easier than them both combined, but of course they were all equally as satisfying. I felt no sympathy as both of their mouths gaped open at my comment. I actually couldn't help but smirk.

Outraged, Girl Number One drew her arm back and slapped me hard across the face. I held my left cheek as blood began to pool underneath my skin—she had quite an arm— and smiled demonically at the two of them. It wasn't the first time that my promiscuities had gotten me slapped, punched, or even kicked. It was always nice to know that girls weren't completely helpless. It made me feel ten times better for leaving them hanging.

I pushed passed the girls and out of the party, breathing in the cool November air as I walked to my car.

What a fun night. I couldn't wait to tell Connor all about it.

Connor was my best friend, and my roommate at the University of British Columbia. He wasn't much of a partier, he complained that they did nothing for his future, therefore he didn't need them. He was just a normal, smart guy. He had a steady girlfriend, and pretty much only focused on her, school work, and occasionally me. He learned way back how to control his Aspergers; you couldn't even tell he had it anymore, aside from a few quirks. He was just a really cool guy who tells is as it is.

I drove back to campus and walked back to my dorm room, room number 162, opening the door enthusiastically.

"Cah-Cah-Cah-Connor!" I called happily throughout the dorm, walking into the small living room where he would normally be found playing video games at this time of night. I found him sitting on the couch with his girlfriend, Abigail. They were cuddled up in a sickeningly adorable way. I wondered how Connor could sit that close to someone as good looking as Abigail and not want to jump into her pants. She had dark hair, with razor bangs that shaped her face, tan skin, and a killer body. If she wasn't with Connor, she would've definitely been on my list of 'Fucked.'

Connor looked away from the television, "Hey KC, you're back kind of early," He said, glancing at his watch and back to me curiously.

"After the third girl—" I looked at Abigail and winked, "I mean, goal, I had to abort mission, things were getting intense." I told him, laughing at myself for feeling so clever.

"You're going to get an STI," Connor said bluntly, his face serious.

"Chill Connor, I'm safe," I rolled my eyes, practically all my euphoria leaving at his remark.

"Yeah, well, I don't think these girls deserve this," He stood up, taking Abigail's hand in his, "It's getting out of hand, KC."

I put my hands in my pockets, a shred of guilt passing through me quickly, "Connor, I know what I'm doing and you just have to relax," I said and, just like that, the high from the night's events, the pure blissfulness of the evening, washed completely out of my body. What replaced it was the all-too-familiar feeling of loneliness and anger resurfacing.

"Whatever," Connor sighed, shaking his head, "I'm going to take Abby back to her dorm," he said, pushing passed me with Abby following right behind. I turned around and watched them leave—especially Abigail, the way women's bodies move while they walk will always be the most elegant yet sexy thing I've ever seen.

I groaned and put my head in my hands after they were out of the dorm. I needed to get out of here, needed to find something, someone, to take away the strong feelings beginning to spread throughout my body, so I could sleep peacefully tonight. I waited a few minutes after they left the room and then took off in the opposite direction I assumed they'd gone in.

I decided that the first girl I saw that was alone would be the one to help me out. I wouldn't be that hard; she wouldn't be able to resist my charm, as long as I recollected myself before I found her. I turned the corner and ran right into someone, causing them to stumble to the ground, the contents of their bag spilling out of her bag as they hit the ground.

She quickly stated picking everything out, not saying anything.

"I'm so sorry!" I looked down at the petite girl with light brown locks that fell right before her shoulders as she scrambled to get her stuff back into her bag. I crouched down and helped her, mostly to try to get a peak at her face.

"It's fine I wasn't—" She started to say, looking up and dropping the sentence flat. My eyes widened as they met her familiar blue eyes.

"KC?"

**MMMMKAY, So, it was short, I know, but it's just the beginning, chapters willllll be longer, I promise, please please please please please Review and tell me what you think. There will be more about why KC is like this in future chapters, by the way, I know he's being quite the jerk xD. Okay, review! And goodday! And review! ._. xD**


	2. Chapter 2

**Kay, so Chapter two, how does KC feel about running into Clare? (sorry for all the typos last chapter, btw xD) Hmm hmm hmm? I guess you should just read and find out. And thanks for all the reviews on the first chapter. Sorry if this chapter is a little slow. Okay, thanks xD read on. **

I woke up the next morning completely dazed. I had gone last night looking for some form of sex to satisfy my being; instead I found instant nostalgia by running into my first ever high school crush and ex-girlfriend, Clare Edwards. It felt like it could've only been a dream, Clare had gone a million miles away from Canada the last I knew.

_"The states are nice and all, but I was really missing Canada, missing home. At least staying in residence here has me closer to home, it really makes it easier to focus on my studies," _she had told me last night with a smile on her face. The smile was beautiful, and it made her blue eyes sparkle all night long, because she never stopped smiling.

_I couldn't have been a dream, could it_? No, I quickly dismissed that thought, it was Clare, in the flesh, I saw her.

There was a knock on my bedroom door, "KC, Class starts in thirty minutes, don't make me leave without you," Conner said through the door, I groaned and got up out of bed, opening the door in just my boxers and offering Conner an annoyed smile. "Good you're up."

I nodded, "I won't take long," I said closing the door and grabbing clothes so I could go take a quick shower before we left for class.

On our walk to class, we stopped to get coffee quick, "So, you'll never guess who I ran into last night," I said to Connor, gripping my coffee firmly in my left hand.

"Who?" Connor asked carelessly, probably not really caring for yet _another _one of my stories of my encounters with girls.

He'd care now. "Clare Edwards," I said and took a sip of my coffee, which was still too hot and burned my tongue and all the way down my throat. _Not hotter than the name Clare Edwards. _I mentally hit myself for that thought and winked at the next blonde who walked by me, I never allowed myself to keep just one girl on my mind for too long.

"You had sex with Clare Edwards?" Connor choked on his coffee, practically doing a spit take.

I laughed, "Breathe, Connor, breathe! I ran into her, we _talked. _Did you know that she went here?" I asked him, smiling at a brunette with flirty eyes that passed by and let out a small, "Hey."

Connor shook his head, "I didn't know, I thought she went to like states, somewhere huge like Princeton or something."

I nodded and sipped my still-hot coffee, "Yeah she did, but she transferred a few weeks ago. She said she missed it here." Another blonde, looking like she was late for class pushed passed us, I watched her as she walked quickly into a nearby building.

"Are you sure it wasn't a dream?" Connor asked incredulously as we walked into the science building for our class.

I shook my head and rolled my eyes, taking another sip of my slowly cooling coffee, "I haven't dreamt about Clare Edwards in years," I laughed a little before continuing, "I haven't had a dream about a girl that wasn't wet in _ages."_

"You know, there is such thing as too much information, KC. You could've just stopped at the first part," Connor said, taking his seat next to Abby in the classroom.

I took the seat next to him and set my stuff down, "Whatever, the point is that she wants to have lunch with us all, even Abby. You in?"

"Who?" Abby butted in, looking at us both.

"An old high school friend, please come," I said sweetly, batting my eyelashes jokingly at her.

"Yeah, sure," Abby smiled, and reached across the table to pinch my cheek, "Does our little KC have a crush?"

I rolled my eyes, "Not even," I told her, my eyes scanning the room. I nodded at the first girl who I made eye contact with and flirtingly offered her the empty seat beside me to prove my point. KC Guthrie doesn't _crush. _

~X~

We went to eat lunch at the best eatery/coffee shop on campus. Connor and Abby sat across from me, looking at the paper menu in front of them as they waited for Clare to show.

"You're absolutely sure you didn't dream you saw her?" Connor looked up at me curiously after five or so minutes passed.

"Connor, for the last time, I'm sure. Be patient, she'll be here," I told him, shaking my head and looking around the room. There were a lot of hot girls in here, I wondered How long Clare would take, and if one of these girls could occupy my time while I waited.

It only had to take a couple of minutes…

Deciding that I had enough time, I stood up to approach one of them just as Clare walked thought the coffee house door. I stopped right in my tracks, taking in the vision of the radiant girl looking around the room to find _me. _

"Clare, over here!" I waved, causing Connor's head to swivel to see if I was only yanking his chain. His jaw dropped as he caught sight of her; I didn't blame him, she seemed more beautiful than I remembered, and a lot more sexy that the little minor niner who wore a private school uniform every day to a public school.

She looked at me and started walking in our direction. I smirked at Connor. "Who's dreaming now?" I joked before she was in hearing distance of the table.

Connor quickly composed himself and took Abby's hand, "I guess you didn't dream it." He shrugged, pretending like this whole situation was really no big deal.

"Dream what?" Clare prompted, sitting in the seat I had pulled out for her as I sat down in my own seat.

"Connor seems to think that I dream of angels with bright blue eyes and a radiant smile," I said nonchalantly, sitting back in my chair and folding my hands on the table. The flirting words had left my mouth instantly, before I could think of who I was even speaking to.

"Uh," Clare choked out shyly, putting the paper thin menu close to her face to hide her expression, making me feel completely ridiculous. "Is the coffee any good here?" She asked, quickly changing the subject.

"It's great, much better than at The Dot," Connor said matter-of-factly, picking up the conversation before I could compose my cool and respond to her myself.

"I miss The Dot," Clare said, setting down her menu and smiling at Connor, "I missed you guys, too."

Connor smiled back and looked from Clare to Abby, obviously unsure how to handle the situation, even though Clare was only smiling, not inviting him into her bed. Clare saw his expression and jumped in, which was an old habit she'd picked up back in high school when Connor got lost. "Oh, right, and this is your girlfriend," Clare prodded, motioning to Abby.

"I'm Abby," she smiled taking her hand from Connor's and offering Clare a handshake.

"Clare." I watched silently as they shook hands. The interaction was awkward and kind of forced' Abigail's tan skin clashing against Clare's pale skin as they shook hands, both of their expressions twisting. I smirked lightly, taking in Abby's expression. She was jealous, and it was kind of obvious.

It was kind of hot on her.

I shook my head and cleared my throat, "_Anyway_, I think I'm going to get a burger and some coffee."

"Interesting combination, I thought for sure you'd want a vanilla milkshake," Clare said smiling and wrinkling her nose.

I breathed in and smiled, she remembered that about me. "Oh no, no, no Clare, milkshakes are a thing of my past. I'm a coffee man now, French vanilla coffee, yes. But, I need the caffeine with all these eight AM classes," I said, putting up a jokingly sophisticated air and sitting up straight in my seat.

"Not to mention all your late night partying," Connor added firmly, causing me to give him a look.

"Partying, KC?" Clare asked, her smile suddenly turning into a worried frown, "Is that rea—"

"I don't drink or do drugs or anything. I'm not like my parents," I told her crisply, anger almost making me slam my hand down on the table. Why jump to conclusions like that? I never was like my parents but, as far as everyone else was concerned, I might as well have been a ticking time bomb.

I brushed the anger away quickly, not wanting it to get the best of me right now.

"No, he only—" I stepped on Connor's foot under the table, which made him cringe and look at me angrily before finishing his sentence, "He only _socializes_"

"Yeah, Clare, KC here is a pretty _social _man on campus, I'm surprised you haven't heard anything about him yet," Abigail added with a wink in my direction, knowing that this was something she could hold over my head when it came to Clare. Anger lightly re-sparked inside of me.

"Hopefully only good things, though," Clare said wishfully, turning her head to look at me.

"Of course, Clare," I said with a shrug, looking at her then at the door where a petite girl with blazing red hair had just walked in. The girl saw my gaze and smirked at me before taking a seat across the room in clear view of me. She looked _so_ good as she picked up the menu and licked her lips. _Oh dear God, why?_

"KC?" Clare asked, waving her hand in front of my face.

I snapped back into the conversation, "Sorry, what?"

"I said: Speaking of your parents; how is your mom?" Clare asked with a hint of annoyance from my zoning out.

My thoughts hardened, "Let's not talk about my parents, okay?"

"Why not?"

"Because, I don't want to," I snapped at her, almost yelling. She flinched back and nodded, looking sorry for even asking. I calmed my expression, the hurt look on her face making me feel bad, "I'm sorry. Things just aren't good, okay?"

She nodded slightly, "Okay, sorry."

I nodded calmly, putting up an act as the feeling of anger and pain began to grow inside me like a flame. "Let's just order," I said, subconsciously gripping the table with my right hand tightly.

"Sure," Connor said, standing up to flag down out waiter.

"KC, what are you doing?" Abby asked, looking down at my hand that was apparently trying to break the table in half.

"Nothing," I said as a blonde with long legs and a killer ass walked out the door of the coffee house. I stood up, "I just remembered, I have to go," I told them, practically sprinting out of there and after the blonde.

I caught up to her and walked beside her, "Hey there, do I know you?" I asked, smirking down at her, hoping she wouldn't be one of those bitches who would reject me in my time of need.

She smirked back, her green eyes devilishly playing with me, "I don't think so. I'm Sarah."

"KC," I told her, taking her by the hips and backing up into a tree. I pulled her abruptly towards me and leaned down to kiss her before she could protest. It seemed like she didn't mind, instead of pulling away, she kissed back, instantly reaching up to wrap her arms around my neck and pull herself as close to me as she could.

I gripped her hips a pushed her shirt up slightly, feeling the goose-bumps rise on her skin as the cold air hit her bare skin. At this, she pulled away and grinned, "You don't waste _any_ time, do you?"

I had no time to waste.

I shook my head and slide my hands down on her waist, my thumbs intruding the waistline of her jeans. I kissed her again wildly, and rubbed circles on her hips with my thumbs, hoping I was being tempting enough to get her to invite me back to her dorm in a few seconds.

But, we were interrupted by a high-pitched, familiar voice, "KC?" I quickly pulled away and looked at Clare, shocked. Why was she here? "I came to make sure you were okay but hey, it seems like you are, so, good for you!" She said, dramatically throwing her hands up in the air and quickly walking away.

I looked down at Sarah—or did she say her name was Saree?— and made a face, "Sorry about that."

She shrugged coolly, "Not a problem, we should probably go somewhere more private, anyway." Apparently there is a God, because I picked the right girl when I seriously needed it.

"Your dorm?" I asked, smirking.

"Okay," she said sexily, hooking her pointer finger on one of my belt loops to pull me away with her.

**Oh. SO, KC is like a dick, no big deal. Lol, seriously though, he doesn't care that Clare just saw that at all. Makes sense, I mean, she's just a high school friend who randomly showed up, duh. And, Abby's character is a bit confusing, I'm not sure if I like her or not yet, ahah, tell me how you feel, yeah? Review.!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, so this chapter is too short and it's pissing me off, ugh. But, I want you to know that EVERYTHING in this chapter has some sort of relevance. Like, even if you find yourself thinking that something is so random and a quick change in like topic, just know that it has relevance. **

Sarah wasn't at all clingy. It seemed that as soon as I rolled off of her, she was up and getting dressed before I could even stand. In a way, it was refreshing to not have to worry about running into her again and getting slapped, punched or kicked. I didn't have to listen to her complain about staying while I was getting dressed. No. She actually wanted me gone. Only slightly refreshing, though.

"Okay, you have to go," she told me bluntly, opening the door and popping her perfect hip against the side of it as I was pulling on my shirt.

_Ouch._ I would've been right on that in ten or fifteen more seconds, but it actually kind of hurt. Kind of like a slight kick to the ego. I never really noticed how it was nice to feel wanted after my encounters with other girls, how good it felt to be able to be the one to kick them to the curb because they wanted me more than I wanted them.

No, I didn't want Sarah more than she wanted me. Impossible.

I shrugged it off as I walked out the door. It wasn't that big of a deal, I felt pretty good, she had known very well what she was doing and I had a good time. So, a slight blow to the Ego? Eh, kind of. Would I get over it and forget about her completely? That wasn't even a question. I ran my fingers through my hair in a motion of washing her out of my mind as I made my way back to my dorm room.

Back at my dorm, I sat down on the couch, sitting back and stretching myself out comfortably. I started watching a sci-fi movie, something that never failed to keep me entertained, for some strange reason, ever since high school. My brain wrapped around the ideas of future science and possible scientific discoveries and wouldn't let go until something snapped me out of it.

Something _did _snap me out of it as Connor walked into our living room and leaned on the doorway, "KC, how did things go?"

I snapped my head to look at him and raised an eyebrow, making myself less comfortable on the couch and folding my hands together to let him know he had my attention, "What do you mean?" I asked him, truly curious, seeing as I didn't know what he was talking about, and he didn't know I had been with whatever-her-name-was. He never really cared what I did.

"With Clare," He said, sitting on the opposite end of the couch, "She went to go find you and then neither of you came back. I actually figured you'd still be with her."

_Oh, right, Clare. _"Ah, no, she found me but then kind of just left. I thought she might have gone back to you guys," I pulled my hands apart from each other and just shrugged nonchalantly.

It actually wasn't a nonchalant situation. Clare was dramatic, but I knew that if she was angry and wasn't talking to any of us, then it was my fault. And, I knew that right now she had a right to be angry. Of course, I'd chosen until now to forget about the whole thing that went down right after I met Sar—er, what's-her-name.

Oops.

"Well, why'd she leave? Did she say she had to go?" Connor asked.

I made a face, wondering how to respond, "Uhm, well..." I looked at him, trying to find the words without sounding like the complete asshole that I seemed to be.

Connor sighed and looked at me, "KC, what did you say to her? Seriously, I told you that your sexist comments and always trying to get into girls' pants were going to get you into trouble." He sounded exasperated, extremely exhausted with me and my behavior.

"Connor, I did _say _anything," I told him truthfully.

"_Okay, _well, what did you _do, _then?"

"When I left you guys, I found this girl, okay? Clare saw us and, I don't know, got angry, I guess," I said, trying to shrug it off. It shouldn't have been a big deal, Clare and I were friends, and Connor knew that I _always _put chicks before friends. But, I guessed Clare hadn't had any way of knowing, hence her anger.

Connor shook his head at me. It was one of those head shakes that tells people that they're unbelievable, but I knew that to Connor, this was completely believable of me. "KC, you haven't seen Clare in years," Connor began, "You hook up with a new girl every single day and you couldn't even let that go to catch up with a _really_ good, old friend."

"I'm sorry, Connor," I said unenthusiastically, I knew that it was wrong; I didn't need to hear it from him.

"Don't tell me you're sorry. Tell her you're sorry," Connor said simply before turning around and walking into his room.

` I rolled my eyes and shook my head. Did I need to apologize? It sounded ridiculous. I was just doing what I wanted in a free country. No, I wanted to catch up with Clare, I really did. What's-her-name just got in the way. Suddenly, I couldn't even remember why I had left Connor, Abby and Clare at that table in the coffee house in the first place. It was an urge, a sudden urge that I couldn't control.

It wasn't my fault. But, I had guessed that I should apologize. I looked at my watch, it was only a little past seven. I hoped I could find Clare around campus before it got too late.

Campus is big, and I didn't know where to even begin looking for Clare.

If I was Clare Edwards, where would I be?

I didn't know.

If I was Clare Edwards and I was _angry, _where would I be?

Still no clue.

I walked around campus, asking myself this question and groaning at every empty location. I couldn't answer the question, I couldn't find her. _I thought for sure you'd want a vanilla milkshake._ Why could she remember me when I could barely recall anything about her?

I looked everywhere. Well, almost everywhere.

I stopped outside the campus' library. This was my last hope, besides her dorm room, and I had no idea where that was. I didn't know why I didn't look here first; Clare was an avid reader and writer. Of course, that was only something I remembered once the Library had come into vision a few minutes before, so of course I hadn't looked here first. I had only been here a few times since I started attending school at UBC.

I walked up to the door just as Clare was walking out._ A-ha. _I approached her tentatively with my hands in my pockets, stepping in front of her and causing her to come to an abrupt stop right in front of me.

When she looked up to see who was stopping her and found it was me, her face turned blank, "Hi, KC."

"Clare, I wanted to apologize for bailing yesterday," I told her, taking my hand out of my pockets and rubbing the back of my neck.

Her face stayed blank and she wouldn't meet my eyes, "You don't have to be sorry, I guess."

"Well, I am," I said, looking at her and offering a smile, "I want to make it up to you."

She smiled back slightly, still looking angry with me and not making eye contact, but definitely willing to forgive, "And, how do you plan on doing that?"

"Maybe we could do something _off _campus? Or maybe I could get you better acquainted _around _campus?" I looked at her, hoping she'd at least take me up on one of the two offers.

"How about we—" She was cut off by the sound of a phone ringing. Actually, It was _my _phone ringing.

So. Inconvenient.

I looked at her apologetically, "Sorry," I said as I pulled my phone out of my pocket.

The caller I.D. flashed across the screen, automatically giving me a headache.

'Mom,' it read.

I hadn't had any intention of answering it, when I had first hear it ringing, but my mom never called me. We didn't talk, at all, because the last time we had talked, it ended in a fight. She had relapsed over a year ago and I had lost it on her. I tried to help, I really did, but she refused to give up the drugs. She claimed that I didn't understand, she needed them or she would apparently die. After a while, before we stopped talking, she had started dipping into my university money and I couldn't take it any longer. I told her goodbye and never visited again. No calls. No texts. So, why was she calling me now?

Was she in trouble?

I had to answer, because, as angry as I was with her, I couldn't live with myself if something terrible happened to her. I still love her. She is my mom.

Clare folded her arms and subtly popped her hip as she watched me stare at the screen in confusion.

I looked down at her and sighed, "I really have to take this."

"Right, of course, maybe I'll see you tomorrow," She said, her facial expression going back to an upset one as she walked away.

I wanted to stop her, and tell her to wait, to tell that I'd only be a moment. But, I didn't, I had no indication of knowing how long this was going to take, or how angry I was going to get. So, Instead, I pressed the answer button on my phone and put it up to my ear, "Hello?"

"KC, you answered!" My mom practically yelled into the other line.

"Uh, yeah, mom.." I said leaning against the big brick wall of the library.

"I'm so happy," She was giggling, and more than two decibels above normally talking volume, "I'm going to need to see you, ya' know!"

"You're high, or drunk, whatever. You're out of it, not sober" I said angrily, clenching my jaw.

"No! I just _love _you," She laughed, drawing out the word 'love.'

I rolled my eyes and pushed angrily off the wall, "How _dumb _do you think I am!" I screamed through the phone, started to walk in the direction of my dorm.

"What? No. 'I love you, too, mummy?' I am still your mother, KC!" She wasn't actually yelling but, she sounded angry. Suddenly, she took in a deep breath and the anger was gone, "SPEAKING OF! Wouldn't you just love to give your darling ol' mummy dearest some cash? I'm broke as a joke!" She started laughing again.

"You have a job, use your own damn money," I told her, my head spinning with anger. She didn't love me, not anymore; it had gone back to the way it was when I was younger. She loved the drugs, she only really cared about herself.

"C'mon, KC!" She yelled again.

I knew she wouldn't give up until I hung up. "I said no," I told her again, hanging up the phone and looking around, glad no one was around to see me yelling into the phone. Why was keeping myself away from her not helping me get away from the hurt she caused me? Why was everything she did to herself hurting me so much?

I needed to get away.

I needed the only form of escape that I knew.

I started walking across campus, looking for anyone who would know the whereabouts of a party tonight. Or just an easy chick. Yeah, that would work, too.

**There, I tried to make it longer while I was revising, but it's still too short, but I give up. I'm going to try to make the next chapter nice and long. I was also wondering if anyone was interested in a couple chapters from Clare's point of view? I could do that, I think I'm going to, actually. But if nobody is really interested in that, I can find other ways to make things known. But.. Yeah. So, review, please please (x. **


	4. Chapter 4

**ASDFGHJKL;', Trying to type this for the third time now. WHY DOES TECHNOLOGY HATE ME SO MUCH? Anyway, he's a chapter that is mostly from Clare's perspective, in which you find out a few things about her, and also get to view some people coughcoughabbycoughcough from a girls perspective. But, like three-fourths of the way through the chapter, it switches back to KC. Read on.**

*Clare*

For the next couple of weeks, I found myself spending more time with Connor, and sometimes even Abby. Unintentionally, this had helped me learn more about KC. I learned about his sleeping around with a billion girls, and the fact that he hadn't had a stable relationship since high school. No one seemed to think there was a reason behind it, that KC was just doing it to be KC, to have fun. For some reason, I refused to believe it. I felt like there had to be something wrong, this wasn't KC.

"Three girls?" Somehow the topic of KC had slipped my lips yet again, "In one night? Why doesn't someone have him on a leash?"

"Like anyone could keep him away, he's crazy. But, it's whatever, Clare," Connor shrugged and sipped his coffee. "Do you remember bot wars?" He smiled brightly.

I laughed a little, "As if I could forget. We owned that competition."

"Those were good times," He said then his expression turned thoughtful, "Do you ever talk to Alli anymore?"

"Sometimes, when she calls me on the weekends we talk, but she gets busy, I get busy.." I shrugged and pulled on my curls to distract myself from the fact that I barely had my best friend anymore, and I really needed her.

"I knew I'd find you _two _here," Abby said, suddenly appearing behind Connor and hugging him from behind, "What are you guys talking about, hmm?"

"Just old friends," Connor said, standing up and pulling out a chair for her, like a gentleman.

"You guys have been hanging out _a lot, _and you're still talking about memories?" Abby sat down and raised an eyebrow. "If I didn't know any better, I'd think something was going on here," She said, and she made it sound like she was supposed to be joking, but I felt a sting of her jealousy hit me as her eyes met mine with menacing daggers.

Connor didn't notice it, he laughed, "Actually, funny story about that," Abby crossed her arms in anticipation for the story. "Back in grade nine, I wanted to go to the dance with Clare. It wasn't really that I had a crush on her, I just felt like I should because KC did, and I had been friends with her for so long. But, then, of course, she chose KC over me, and I actually helped them share their first kiss," He was smiling at the memory, not at all bitter over the fact that I actually had picked KC, making me smile, too. Back then, KC had been so kind and sweet…

"So you dated _KC?_" Abby asked, looking over at me, once again, with daggers for eyes. Apparently, Connor wasn't the only one she had eyes for. I made a mental note to tell Connor about that observation later.

I nodded and kept being kind, despite her subtle hostility towards me, "Yeah, except—surprise! — he chose the new girl over me later on." I rolled my eyes, remembering how angry I had been with him, but how badly I had wanted him back on the weeks following our break up.

Abby smirked a little, "Guess some things never change, huh?"

"Excuse me?" I asked, taking her statement the wrong way, and feeling slightly offended by all the potential double meanings behind it.

"I mean, KC still can't keep a steady relationship," Abby laughed and took Connor's hand. "You missed out, Clare; Connor is the _best _boyfriend ever." Now she was trying to make me jealous, maybe so she didn't have to be alone on the sinful feeling. I felt like I was back in high school.

I smiled, anyways, pretending I hadn't noticed what she tried to do there. "That's okay, I'm just glad he's happy. Connor's like a brother to me. So, you better not hurt him," I gave her a look and winked playfully to try to tell her that she wouldn't phase me. I hoped I was phasing her, though.

I didn't come back to Canada to make enemies. Not that she knew why I came back to Canada, anyway. I decided then to leave the two of them alone, figuring it was time I went to the library, wanting to find another good book to read before my next class on Monday.

I was halfway through the first book I picked out when Connor texted me to come meet him at his dorm. He wanted to show me a project or something he was working on, and wanted to know my input and thoughts on it. Of course, I told him I would, after all, what were friends for? Plus, I was ninety percent positive that his airhead of a girlfriend couldn't give him any intelligent input on it, and KC was probably busy doing—

I cringed and stood up to go check out the books to finish later on tonight and the rest of the weekend then made my way to Connors dorm. I wasn't sure if I wanted KC to be there or not, but it didn't matter because, when I showed up, he was nowhere in sight.

"Okay, so, where's this project?" I asked Connor as I sat down on the couch in the living room of his dorm.

"It's not done yet," Connor said, leaving the room and coming back a few seconds later with a box in his hands, "It's designed to help kids with Asperger's."

"What is it?"

"A robot. I've been studying robotics for a while, and, remember how I used to wear the same outfit, like, everyday?" He looked at me and set the box down on the floor.

I nodded, completely fascinated by his excitement.

"Well, it felt more controlled for me that way. This robot will help kids with Asperger's pick out their clothes, keeping them in a similar routine so that they can feel controlled and be able to express different styles or not get picked on for wearing the same thing every day," He smiled brightly and took the robot out of the box. "It's the first of many things that I plan to do to help people who are like me. I think I could actually get somewhere with all the ideas inside my head."

"Connor, this is amazing," I said, getting off the couch and kneeling down to get a better look at it. A lot of the wiring and gears were far beyond my knowledge of robotics, but I helped him in any ways that I could.

After about an hour of working on it, progress was made, and he had more ideas on how he would fix it when he got the right parts, so he put it back in the box and brought it to wherever he was hiding it. I sat back down on the couch and flipped on the television, just channel surfing.

He joined me, sitting on the opposite side of the couch. He looked at me and rose an eyebrow, "So, why did you really move back to Canada? Besides the fact that it's the best place in the world."

I sighed and thought for a second, "It's kind of a long story." I looked up at him, hoping that we could possibly just leave it at that.

"Well, we have all weekend, you know," He looked at the clock, and I followed his gaze, 9:42 PM.

I felt like he didn't want me to go until he got a legitimate answer. My head spun for a second. Right now, Connor was my only and best friend, but, I hadn't told _anyone_ at all about what happened to me back in the states. "Connor, back in the states, things happened."

"Like what? Did you fail your classes or something?" Connor turned his whole body to face me on the couch.

I turned and faced him, too, pulling my legs to my chest and wrapping my arms around them, "No, well, not exactly."

"Then what, Clare? You know you can tell me," Connor was prying, but he was really only curious.

My heart beat a little faster, I knew I could trust him, I was just afraid of the story, afraid of the memories. "I ended up meeting this guy," I started off, knowing that would throw Connor's mind into confusion over girls having girl problems, "We got close, and we started dating. He seemed great. But, I used to visit Alli on weekends, or hang out with the girls on weekdays, and he stopped letting me. He made me stay with him all the time, he started controlling me. We had to be together, all the time, o-or he got angry." My eyes started to water, "H-He started to hit me, when I didn't do what he wanted, he would just get really angry. I didn't know how to escape. So I told my parents that I missed home. They said I could come back and go to TU, but he knew that I used to live in Toronto. And, I felt like that'd be too obvious. So, I'm here."

"So, you're running away," Connor said bluntly, nodding his head with understanding.

I wiped my eyes as memories played over and over in my head, "Yeah, I guess I am."

*KC*

"I'm sorry, Clare," Connor replied to Clare in the other room, muffled sobs beginning to fill my ears.

I heard the whole thing; I was paralyzed with shock and anger, standing in by the doorway to our living room in the dorm, hidden by the wall. I shouldn't have eavesdropped; maybe Clare would have eventually told me this story herself. No, she hated me. I felt so bad, I wanted to comfort her.

I wanted to hug her and tell her everything was going to be okay, then kill the guy who did this to her. Maybe if I just walked into the room and told her I heard everything… No, she hated me. She'd leave, and I would have ruined things, once again.

"Maybe I should walk you back to your dorm," I heard Connor say, causing the sobs to stop a little.

Fight or flight. I had to get out of there. I turned around and maneuvered my way around the kitchen quickly; jumping over things, catching objects that I almost made fall, and making my way into my room. I silently closed the door and pressed my ear up against it.

Something fell. Damn it, the spinning spice holder, fully equipped with spices. I knew I hit it, but I didn't think I hit it hard enough to make it fall. I silenced my breathing and waited to hear what would happen next.

"What was that?" Clare's voice was really quiet, even with my ear pressed all the way against the door.

I heard footsteps and the sound of things being set down, "Huh," Connor's voice was louder, "Must've been set off balance or something."

"Oh, okay, here, I'll help," I listened to them silently pick up the containers of spice and the holder then leave the dorm room.

I sat there for a second after I heard the room door close. Then, I slowly opened the door and looked around the room. I breathed out quickly, having been unaware that I was even holding my breath in the first place. I looked around the kitchen. There was the spinning spice holder, picked up all neatly and even pushed back further on the counter.

I opened the door and looked out; they were already out of the hallway, so I closed the door and sat on the couch, turning the television to the science fiction channel, like always. There was a movie on about aliens, and I watched it for a while, not really engrossing myself in it like I normally did. My mind was still set on Clare. I could even comprehend why someone would want to hurt her. It made me upset.

I realized I was clenching my fists. I was angry, too.

I lay back on the couch and closed my eyes. After a few minutes—or maybe longer— I heard the door open and close. I figured it was Connor, home from walking Clare back to her dorm.

I was wrong. I heard a female voice, "KC, where's Connor?" Abby asked, her voice a low purr.

"Walking- I mean, I don't know, I haven't seen him all night," I sat up and looked at her.

"Probably with Clare," She frowned a bit and then her eyes lit up and she smirked at me.

"What? is someone jealous? They're just friends, Abby, I can assure you of that," I told her as she made her way to sit next to me on the couch.

Like, right next to me.

"You don't think he'll be home for a while, do you?" She lightly trailed her finger down my chest and I looked at the clock behind her. Only 9:53? A measly five minutes had passed since they left. I was confused, but her touch was fogging my mind.

"I-I don't know, why?" I looked at her and tried to blink the fog out of my mind. No, this couldn't happen.

"How come," She started running her hands through my hair, "you've come on to just about every girl here, except me?" She bit her lip and started to, very lightly, trace circles on the back of my neck.

"Because of Connor, of course," I had goose bumps everywhere; I needed to get out of here before I did something I would regret, so I stood up, "Sorry if that made you feel like you weren't good enough or something."

I quickly left the dorm, ready to hit one of the many parties I had been invited to tonight.

**Okay, so, there you go, things with Connor :3. Things with Clare D:. Things with Abby e_e. Tell me how you felt about this chapter, please? And I'm sorry if there was a lot of typos, I was typing really fast because of my rage towards technology. Oh, and do you think Abby might have an upper hand with KC now? Is Connor going to find out, hmm? REVIEW PLEASE AT TELL ME XD. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Here's chapter five, which has been written for forever, but I haven't posted out of sheer laziness. Sorry sorry, xP. I'm not going to give up this story, promise, because I love it and I miss KC too much to not have him around… at least mentally… uh.. yeah.. heh.. anyway.. enjoy ._. **

When I arrived at the party, which was held not too far off campus, it was already in full swing. I looked around the room; people were bouncing to the beat of some music while lights flashed everywhere. It looked like a rave, drinks everywhere, couples placed at every corner and on every couch, not being able to keep their hands off of each other, and I had no doubt there were some drugs going around, too. It was an interesting party to say the least. I just had to find a not-so-interesting girl to liven me up to the party's standard, and to help me forget everything that had just happened back at my dorm and to just relax.

Suddenly, a drink was shoved in my face, "Hey dude, everyone is required to have one drink upon entry," An unfamiliar girl slurred at me, her eyes looking like they were focusing on the wall behind me. I guessed that she had way more than her one required "entry" drink in the past twenty minutes.

I didn't drink, but what the Hell could one drink possibly do? It'd keep me at this party a little bit longer. So, I took the cup and chugged the contents quickly. A burning sensation filled my throat and warmed all the way down my body, tingling everywhere. It tasted disgusting, like pure alcohol, and it burned my eyes a little.

I clutched the cup in my hand and dropped it on the floor. The girl threw her hands up in the air and yelled "Woo!" spinning around like an idiot before walking off to probably give her next victim the poison.

Looking around the room, the colours of the lights seemed to get prettier and more luminescent as the minutes passed. I walked around, trying to find a single girl to spend some time with. My head felt lighter than a feather, if that was possible. I began stumbling as I searched, and somehow made my way through the kitchen door. There, I stumbled into a girl who was all by herself. No friends. No boyfriend. Alone. Her brown hair was a little bit messed and out of place, and she swayed as she stood there with an empty cup clutched in her little hand.

She was pretty. I stepped closer to her and smirked. "Hi," was all my feathery brain had to say. I knew I had to focus so I could use my charm, I had to try.

What had been in that drink, anyway?_ I wonder…_

"Hi yourself," the girl semi-slurred back, her high pitched voice snapping my mind back to focus on her.

"You're really pretty, why are you in here all alone?" I asked unintelligently, unable to find the right words but hoping her drunken state would give me a little bit of an upper hand.

""You're pretty too!" She giggled and stumbled forward, closer to me, "But, I'm back here to get away from all the noise and people, it's crazy out there." She pointed at the door then looked up at me, biting her lip, "Then again, I don't think that's what you came in here to say." She giggled again.

I felt relieved, because she was coming onto me, so I laughed with her. "Well, yeah, totally, but uh…" I smirked and put my hands out on her waist to steady her, catching her in another stumble towards me.

"But.. maybe we can find a room where we can _talk, _you know, away from the noise," She clicked her tongue on the "k" in "talk" and winked before giggling again. I took her hand and let her lead me in a group stumble out of the kitchen.

It seemed like an eternity until we actually found a bedroom and fell onto the bed, locking lips. It was definitely my form of talking, though. _Now let's hope she talks even better with her hips. _We clung onto each other for dear life as we kissed above the sheets. Her shirt came off, we kissed again. My shirt came off, we reconnected out lips as quickly as we could. She sat up and straddled me, her hands on my belt as I looked up at her.

The moonlight through the window hit her features. She was smiling in a way that made her bright blue eyes light up so familiarly. Her brown hair was just long enough to sweep lightly against her bare, pale shoulders. I flipped us over, trying to figure out where I'd seen her before. I blinked and look at her, more confused; now she was Clare, tears filling her eyes as she looked up at me with hurt. Was I hurting her? I jumped off her and fell on the floor, my head hitting the wood, _hard. _

That would leave a mark.

"Oh my gosh, are you okay?!" I heard the girl say to me.

I mumbled that I was fine, even though I couldn't move my without any extreme pain. Clare was a good person; Clare would help me. _That's not Clare, though, and it never will be. _

_Blackness. Darkness. _

~x~

I woke up in my own bed, the whole night before being one big blur. What did I do?

The smell of bacon hit my sense with great pleasure. It had been a while since I had bacon. Was Connor cooking for Abby? Abby… My head hurt, and it stung even worse when her name infiltrated my thoughts. Why?

I stood up, and stopped right there, just stood right there. I felt myself swaying from side to side as the world went black around me and my brain seemed to roll around inside my skull like a tornado hitting even the most peaceful of places in my mind. I grabbed ahold of my head, wanting the pain to stop. I help myself there, standing as still as I could. The pain was no longer there. Well, as long as I didn't move, because when I finally took a step, the tornado turned into an atomic bomb setting off inside my brain.

It was then that I realized I had a hangover.

Man, did I want some aspirin.

I closed my eyes as I walked the familiar route to the small table in the dorm room's kitchen. I held my hands on my head and held it tightly with each painful and subtle step. I was well aware that I probably looked like a zombie, groaning in pain and walking as lazily and groggily as one could get.

I pulled a chair out at the table, not noticing if anyone was even in the room, attending to the food that was filling my senses with some delight. I figured Connor was there, though, "Connor, can you please get me some aspirin, ASAP?"

The only response was the sound of a pill bottle shaking, pills being placed on the table next to my head and a sound of a cup being placed right beside them. Coffee? I slowly started to turn my head when she finally spoke, "I thought you said you didn't drink?" The tone of Clare's voice hurt me, not only because with every noise, there was a miniature war going on inside my head, but also because she sounded disappointed, angry, lied to.

I picked up the aspirin and swallowed them dry, then followed it by a steaming gulp of coffee that warmed all the way down my throat, making me feel a lot better already. _Oh yeah, that cup-of-whatever, last night…_

There must've been something crazy in it.

Never. Again.

"I don't," I said and looked at her. She crossed her arms and glared back, looking for the truth. "I don't, honestly. I had a cup last night, just one cup," She raised her eyebrows in disbelief, "I swear, I'm guessing it was spiked…"

She sighed and walked back to attending the food, "Maybe you just shouldn't go to parties, then. Connor freaked out when he got the call."

"What call?" I looked around, "Where is Connor, anyway?"

"Some girl you were about to sleep with must've known you two were roommates, because she called in a panic to come get you after you passed out on the floor," Clare sighed and started fixing a few plates.

Some girl I was about to sleep with? At least I didn't sleep with her, what if I had been too out of it to use protection?

My head hurt even more at the thought.

Or, maybe that was just the hangover speaking.

"I honestly don't remember a thing. So then Connor dragged me out of there, all unconscious?" I looked up at her, hoping that wasn't the case.

"No, no, he woke you up, well kinda, and you slumped on both of out shoulder to get into the car. You even babbled on, quite a bit, once we made it there," Clare bit her lip as she turned around with two plates in her hands and set one in front of me then sat the other across from me. "You don't remember any other that?"

"That would be a definite no," I looked at her then started munching on my bacon, not realizing how hungry I actually was.

"Oh, well, you said some things about Abby, and—"

I practically choked on my food. "Oh my God, what did I say?" Did I tell my best friend that I found his girlfriend hot, and that I got some pretty detailed thoughts when she was around? _Please, no.._

"You were kind of telling Connor that he was too good for her, which I think is true, by the way," She bit her bacon and looked at me like she had something else to say.

I raised my eyebrow and waited.

"There was a lot of slurring, but it seemed like you were talking about her trying to hook up with you. Did she, or was that just the alcohol, or maybe you're jealous, or…" She trailed off curiously.

Curious if I liked Abby? Jealousy? I ate a piece of my eggs and thought about it. No, I didn't like Abby, and no, I never got jealous. I thought for a second that maybe Clare was jealous that I might potentially like Abby, but then shrugged the thought off. _Not every girl likes you, KC, _I thought and added, _especially Clare. _Because, as far as I knew, she hated me. "I don't like Abby, and I'm not the jealous type." But, something happened with Abby before the party, that's why the thought of her made my head spin. _Had she tried hooking up with me? _Maybe I tried hooking up with her.. I couldn't remember, so I left both questions blank, to be answered on a later date.

"Okay. Well, I was just thinking that I would believe it, if she did, like, come onto you. I think she likes you. And Connor deserves someone way better than _that._" She looked down at her food, which she barely touched at all.

I nodded, "And, again, I ask, where is Connor, anyway? Not that it's not a pleasant surprise to have you here…"

"He's with Abby, of course. I thought I'd stay here and make sure you were okay," She sipped her coffee and shrugged.

She cared? "Well, thanks, but why? I kind of thought that you hated me," I finished my food and sat back in my chair with my coffee in hand.

"I only hate you a _little,"_ She joked, smiling at me and wrinkling her nose. "Plus, I had nothing better to do."

"I see," I smiled back and stood up, clapping my hands. Bad idea, my head boomed, only slightly less terribly than it had before. I stood there and collected myself before I finished, "Well, I guess it's time we finally actually hang out. Why don't we do something _off _campus?"

~x~ *Clare* ~x~

I decided not to tell KC that he told me everything about his mom—it was a private matter, and if he ended up wanting to tell me, he would. He'd talked about it more than anything else he talked about once we got to the car. After I heard the hurt in his voice, drunken or not, I couldn't stay mad at him. He needed someone to be there for him and it seemed his mom was very out of commission for that task. I hoped I could steer him on the right track.

We walked the streets of Vancouver and window shopped for a long time. Shockingly enough, the conversation wasn't strained or awkward; it was just KC being his always charming self and me falling for it all over again. I knew falling for him again would be a terrible idea, history would repeat itself and I'd be in the cold, yet again.

I didn't even think I could handle another relationship at this point. I wasn't ready for that kind of trust. I guess KC wasn't really either, he didn't even trust me enough to talk about his mom. If that was how this worked, anyway…

"KC? Do you think we could go somewhere and sit down and just, I don't know, talk?" I looked at him hopefully as we walked down the busy street.

"And he I thought we have been talking this whole," KC smiled jokingly and shrugged.

"I mean serious talk," I told him.

"Sure, I guess, right this way," He gestured. He seemed a little nervous, but I pretended not to notice; maybe he knew I wanted to talk about his mom and he didn't want to.

He led me into a small café and found a seat in a back where it looked like we'd be all alone, "So, what did you want to talk about?" He looked at me sincerely and reached across the table to take my hand. It was an act of comfort, but I was the one who should have been comforting him, not the other way around.

"Well," I didn't know how to begin, him holding my hand causing a momentary skip in my thoughts.

"Wait. Why don't you tell me about thing that went on… back in the states?" He squeezed my hand and looked into my eyes.

If I didn't know any better, I'd say he knew about everything. That was impossible, though. Suddenly, I felt like a complete wreck and had to get out of there, _I had to. _

I faked a glance at my watch "I'm really sorry, but I have somewhere I have to be," tears pricked in my eyes as I stood up and raced out of there.

**I wanted to just say "ignore the typos because I don't feel like spell-checking" but I'm REALLY glad I did spell check, oh my gosh. That's what I get for trying to type AND watch Degrassi at the same time. (and there's probably still typos so oops, sorry.) Shwelll, I hope you enjoyed, and pleaaase review (x. **


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